Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Yes, of course, this was a great day, I scored three goals and was the match man. I want to eat that thing.. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? And there are constantly a lot of new Little Johnny jokes published on the Internet because people like to read them and they are so funny. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers. Your email address will not be published. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. And she said we should recite it till we learned it!The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. Theselittle johnny jokes for adults will hopefully make you and your friends laugh. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. I wish Id said Id lost ten cents!. The teacher looked a little shocked. "Johnny," the father said. Youve done it only eight times. Johnny: Looks like my counting isnt too good either., 17. Your email address will not be published. And you, April? You will definitely enjoy them. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. No Maam, your thinking of blow job, and that's only two syllables. I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny. What did his mother do? When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Returning visitor? See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? and I shut up and kept very still. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. I have told you before that the customer is always right. Then the teacher asked April a third question. Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Are you grabbing the nickel because its bigger, or what?Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. !Little Johnny: That its Thursday, Miss Bramwell.After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? 7. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. But maybe, if you didnt speak quite so loud, I could.Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny: Oh mom, do you realize what you just said?Teacher: Its the fourth time youre late for school this week Johnny! Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Your email address will not be published. Kind regards, John. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. It means the car wont start., 9. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? See you in the Email! And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Why a carrot as a logo? Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. A big list of little johnny jokes! Prussy." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.."
Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Now off to bed you go!Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.Little Johnny is making faces at school.The teacher catches him at it and says, You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Crunt? When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. You are signed up for our newsletter! He scares the shit out of it. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Eat your lunch and go back to school. You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. Following is our collection of funny Little Johnny jokes with teacher. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Do you understand me?" says, Mike. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!". She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. We were all in church saying our prayers. 3. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. She replies, "No." Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. "No!" Jimmy replied. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Spitem out! "No!". Ill give you a hint, said the teacher. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! 4. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! A while later, the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Savior?. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The best stupid jokes. Here, have a carrot! His mother handed him the money.Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Johnny said, "It had to be! The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). "You don't do those kind of things to women." He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. She replies, No. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" While he understands sex terminology, he can be naive at other times. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?Johnny says, Six.The teacher says, Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny again says, Seven.The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, Why do you keep saying seven? Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. I really dont want to know! yelled Little Johnny. Full name: John 2. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Required fields are marked *. twinkle twinkle little star we can do it in a car. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2bedefc89f5e171ad4508c75233f4bf" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 1. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. Thats not what I taught them. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Please stop, dad! You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!, Check out 20 Really Funny School Jokes that will make you laugh, 7. I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down.There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. 9. Check out funny Little Johnny jokes we have found for you. ", One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. Little Johnny: "I told him he's right. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Does anyone know another word. What happened?Johnny explains: Miss, Dad asked me again, Johnny are you sleeping?. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. regular teacher. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! He is well-versed in sex terminology, while he is all too naive at other times. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes., The nun teaching the class asks, Where do you sense Jesus in your life? There was another pair exactly like this one at home.When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. But if your boobs were bigger, youd be a 9.Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preachers long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. There we were in church saying our prayers. ', 4. And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally cant go back and you end up really ugly.Little Johnny quiets and says, Well, at least you were warnedTeacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?Without hesitation, Johnny answers, Two dollars.Teacher isnt happy, Come on, Johnny, you dont know how to count.Johnny shrugs, Maybe, but I do know my dad!Teacher asks his class one day, What would you like to be when you grow up?Johnny answers first, saying, I will follow in my fathers footsteps and become a policeman.Teacher raises his eyebrows, Johnny, I didnt know your father is a policeman.Well, he isnt, explains Johnny. Thousands of clean and dirty In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Teacher, urinate. Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. But that is a good thing!What did you help her with?I helped her eat her gummy bears.At school: Johnny, wheres your homework?Johnny: Im very sorry, I dont have it here.Teacher: How come?Johnny: I ate my exercise books.Teacher: What?! Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Look through these jokes and share them with your partners! 150 Hilarious Little Johnny Jokes to Make You Laugh. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. !A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?Steven raises his hand and says, Hes in Heaven.Mary answers, Hes in my heart.Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, Hes in our bathroom!The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.Well, Little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus Christ, are you still in there?! Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. ", A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. All jokes are part of. The teacher walked over to him. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? she says to him, What are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies, I am just doing my maths homework. And is this is how your teacher taught you to do it? the mother asks. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. 6. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, It had to be! What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny!